


What It Means To Be A Man

by Neonna



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bi/Pan Sousuke, Dirty Talk, Dresses, Edgeplay, Face-Fucking, Facials, First Kiss, Future Fic (Partly), Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, Near Future, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Panties, Phone Sex, Self Confidence Issues, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Sexting, Voice Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:41:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6943906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neonna/pseuds/Neonna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Nitori likes to wear dresses, and struggles with self-acceptance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Being a Man

**Author's Note:**

> Series inspired by [this.](http://serpentenial.tumblr.com/post/139447538168/my-submission-for-samgenderzine-i-wanted-to) Note that I did not make Nitori trans. He's just a male character who likes to wear dresses sometimes.
> 
> I haven't decided on an exact pairing yet. You all know me, I could pair anyone so please be aware. You all also know that the possibility of this fic turning from mature to explicit later on is pretty high so...yeah. 
> 
> I should also say that I had originally intended this first chapter to be several thousand words, but I really really like this scene by itself, and wanted to showcase it as such. Enjoy!

The first time someone saw him Nitori must have turned red all the way down to his toes. It was much worse than if Rin had caught him masturbating, or even the time when his roommate had found his porn magazine.

The sound of the door slamming shut made Nitori flinch away, his hands twisting around the hem of the pink sundress he wore. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, and refused to meet Rin's gaze even as he felt hot tears pooling behind closed eyelids. Blood roared in his ears, deafening him so he couldn't hear that his own voice was close to a shrill.

"I thought you were staying late at practice," he blurted, the words tumbling from his lips without end. "I wasn't expecting you back, and it's warm outside so I thought I...I -" a sob heaved from his chest, but he pushed the words out anyway. "I won't do it again. I promise, Rin I'm sorry."

"Where do you keep them?" Rin's cold tone made him want to curl in on himself.

He felt his nails press into the palm of his hand through the fabric that felt so soft against his skin. "U-under my mattress."

The annoyed click of Rin's tongue hurt worse than any physical blow he could have received. "That's why they're so wrinkled. You should hang them up."

There was the sound of the door opening, and closing shut with a click.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my [tumblr](https://neosnsfw.tumblr.com/) for fic updates, porn, and maybe even original work.


	2. That Was Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there were two versions of Nitori that I had in my head: one was of the one we see in the series where he isn't quite fully grown yet (and I don't mean physically), and another where he is much more sure of himself. I jumped ahead a little suddenly in this series because I really wanted to show all of you the latter because we never got to see that in the show. 
> 
> I also wasn't sure how to tag the relationships here. Give it a read, and I guess if I have too many complaints I'll change it. Enjoy!

He liked sweet things. He liked pretty things. Over the years, Nitori had allowed himself to indulge in his passions because what was so wrong with liking anything sweet, or pretty? Plenty of boys enjoyed pink, and weren't embarrassed by it. The dresses had come along later.

It was often where he would stop to admire dresses in the windows of shops. At stores he would slip into the women's section, and touch them, the fabric always soft in his hands. The first dress he had bought was in a hurry at a cheap second hand store, claiming it was for his sister. In the privacy of his own bedroom was where he had tried on his very first dress, and he knew he was hooked. The dresses were always for his sister, and always kept under his mattress even when he moved into the Samezuka dorms.

For a while he had thought that perhaps he didn't want to be a man at all, but that idea was quickly squashed as he explored his own sexuality, touching himself nightly, and coming with one hand clamped firmly over his mouth to keep himself quiet. He was just a man with a few...quirks, and it was those quirks he wasn't sure he was comfortable with yet.

"Ai." Rin's voice rang in the quiet of their room, making his shoulders tense. "Didn't I tell you to hang them up?"

It had been several weeks since Rin had seen him in a dress. It hadn't been mentioned by either of them, and Nitori had hoped that Rin had forgotten about it.

He couldn't turn from his spot at his desk to look back at Rin he knew was sprawled out on the bed in the shelter of the lower bunk. He bit down on his bottom lip for a moment as he considered his response.

"H-hang what up, Rin-Senpai?" Nitori said.

"You know what."

Nitori sighed, and finally turned, but he kept his gaze trained on the floor.

"It's my business, Rin-Senpai," he said. "I appreciate your concern, and I know what you're doing, but I just need you to remain quiet about this for now."

A shiver worked its way down his spine as the hair at his nape was pushed aside, replaced by a warm tongue that made him clench his teeth to suppress the gasp that tried to escape him. Rin's hand snaked up the bottom of his shirt to brush over one of his nipples while his other hand ghosted over the inside of his thigh. Nitori felt sharp teeth nip at the back of his neck before the bites were soothed by a warm tongue.

"But I want to see you..."

 

That was two years ago. As it turned out, his infatuation with Rin was nothing more than puppy love. He still admired his former senpai, and looked up to him, but he was very much his own person now. Their relationship hadn't lasted long, not much more than a fling that continued on for a few months.

He had never showed Rin his dresses, and never hung them up. He never wore them for Rin, and he suspected that was more due to his own insecurities than anything. Approaching the later-half of his third year at Samezuka, and being team captain had changed him. He'd matured, grown, and realized that Rin wouldn't have been right for him in the first place.

He still roomed with Momotarou who was as oblivious as ever. At the start of his third year, he hung his dresses on his side of the wardrobe, and Momotarou hadn't noticed, which was fine with him.

Nitori pushed his hair out of his eyes as he went over his own training regime, trying to pinpoint where he was plateauing before the end of the year. He had grown his hair out so it was longer in the front. He thought it made him look more mature, but it was always in his eyes. During long hours of studying he often pinned his bangs away from his face.

His phone buzzed on the desk beside him, and he paused in his work to glance at the screen, which was automatically displaying part of the text message. It was booty call, and he ignored it. With the end of the year approaching with finals and the team, he no longer had the time to dabble in frivolous activities.

He led an active sex life, something he was a little proud of himself for. It was a lifestyle that he had happened upon unexpectedly, and a lifestyle he never thought he would have as he was too shy. The successes in his second year had helped to boost his confidence, but he hadn't the time for a relationship, not yet anyway.

When his phone vibrated a second time with another, more insistent message, Nitori leaned back in his chair, and turned the device off. He looked down at his notes with a sigh, his brain having been distracted twice in such a short time had thrown him off, and he didn't feel like working anymore.

The weather was getting warmer, and it reminded him of the day two years ago when Rin had first seen him in a dress. He smiled at himself, remembering how embarrassed he had been. His face must have been beet red. He had been cute then, still imbued with an innocence that many found attractive, at least that was the impression he gave off. His nightly search history said otherwise, and even though he hadn't grown much taller, his boyish demeanor was all but gone.

Nitori checked the time. Momotarou would be out for a while yet, and even if he walked in, Nitori was a teenage boy after all.

He palmed himself through his pants, slouching in the chair, and tilting his head back as he relaxed. He knew right away that he wanted more, further, but he had work to do yet.

He unzipped his pants, and pushed them low on his hips, feeling his face scrunch as he wrapped a hand around his cock. One stroke had him frowning, and digging the bottle of lube from his desk drawer, having to rummage through the mess before he came out with it. The cool slickness made him sigh, and his mouth dropped open to give way to rough pants as he jerked off. It was fast, the waistband of his pants biting into his thighs as he tried to spread his legs wider.

"Fuck," Nitori swore under his breath as he came, moving to catch the majority of the mess in the palm of his hand.

He dabbed at his hand with tissue, trying not to have the paper leave an even bigger mess on his skin before tucking himself back into his pants. The initial tension was gone, but he felt it at the back of his mind, a slow, steady build.

He turned his phone back on, and it buzzed with another new message. Fighting the urge to throw the distracting thing against the wall, Nitori opened it.

 

_From: Sousuke Yamazaki_

_Long time. How have you been?_

 

Nitori didn't answer the message right away because he knew what he automatically wanted to do. Sousuke wasn't just one of his little flings.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my [tumblr](https://neonna.tumblr.com/) for fic updates, porn, and maybe even original work.


	3. Frilly Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're going to hit that subscribe button, then please leave a comment, or a kudos, or something. If you've taken the time to read, and subscribe then obviously you liked it enough that it's worth your time, so show it. If you don't, well then you'll just have to live with the knowledge that I am silently judging you. Enjoy!

He was tired.

Nitori's arms shook as he pulled himself from the pool. He padded over to where he had left his towel, and a bottle of water, stifling a yawn. As soon as he wasn't paying attention, his foot slid on a patch of water on the pool deck. There was a screech as he slid on the floor, the muscles in his thighs tensing to prevent a fall, but he went down anyway, giving a wince as his legs spread apart too far, and too fast. He sat for a moment, crossing his legs against the burn in his inner thighs. When he got to his feet, he moved slowly, breathing through the pain. He was going to feel that for a while.

He picked up his towel, and draped it over his shoulders, rubbing at the back of his head as he made his way into the change room.

It was late on a Friday, and he had been getting some last-minute practice in before the weekend. If he worked hard, and adjusted his schedule carefully, he might be able to find the time to call up one of his booty-calls.

He dried off fully in the change room, and threw the towel onto the bench, standing unabashedly naked in front of his locker. He pulled a thong from his bag, and bent to put it on. There was difference between thongs meant to fit around a cock, and ones that weren't. In the last year he had experimented with both, but found something thrilling about seeing his dick bulging from behind the pale lace. For the first time in his life, there was a sexual component to him preferring frilly things. The panties made him feel sensual, and sexy, but still inherently masculine. His demeanor never changed, never became feminized when he wore his dresses. They were just his preference, and he figured it was the same in regards to the taste in underwear. It wasn't like anyone ever saw his underwear anyway.

Momotarou was away visiting his family for the weekend, and his room was quiet for once in a very long time. Nitori drew the blinds closed, and stripped leaving his clothes discarded on the floor, but keeping the panties on. He got an ice pack from the mini fridge, and reclined on top of his bed under the cover of the top bunk. He hissed and jumped as the cold of the ice pack pressed against his skin, making him shiver, and goose-flesh raising on his skin.

Turning the TV on for background noise, Nitori picked up his cell phone, and opened his text messages.

 

_From: Aiichiro Nitori_

_Are you awake?_

 

The guy on the receiving end was one of his regulars, although they've never met in person, and never seen the other's face. There was something about the anonymity that got to him. He was also the only person – other than Rin – who knew about his choice of clothing.

 

_From: XXX – XXX – XXXX_

_Yeah. What you up to?_

 

_From: Aiichiro Nitori_

_Nothing. Just in bed. I got a new pair._

 

_From: XXX – XXX – XXXX_

_Oh, sounds good. Show me?_

 

Nitori was already shifting, placing the ice pack to the side, and adjusting himself to get the best view with his phone's camera. When he photo was snapped, he looked over it to make sure the rest of his dorm was out of the frame, especially anything that would link him back to Samezuka. Once he was satisfied he sent it, and it was a little while before he got a reply.

 

_From: XXX – XXX – XXXX_

_Fuck, that's hot. I'm already hard._

 

_From: Aiichiro Nitori_

_Can I see?_

 

Another moment passed before Nitori's phone beeped with an incoming photo. Like the photo he sent, this one didn't show the sender's face, or any identifying features in the photograph. It did sport a rather large, uncut dick that was very often the object of Nitori's most recent fantasies.

Nitori fingered the edge of his lacy panties. He wasn't hard, too tired after a long week, but he stored the picture on his phone for later use anyway, and entertained himself by getting the guy on the other end off with his dirty texting, making sure to get an 'after' photo before turning in for the night.

 

The next morning he made a trip to the doctor's office to make sure his fall didn't do any damage. It hadn't, and would recover with a few day's rest.

He was at it again late Saturday night, texting with his anon, but this time he was jerking himself off, legs spread as wide as his recent injuries would allow. His brow beaded with sweat, and he was panting lightly from having edged himself for an hour beforehand. He liked edging. There was something satisfying about coming after denying himself, and he didn't like rushing straight to orgasm. He reveled in that feeling just before he came, the build-up of pleasure while teetering so close to the edge.

 

_From: XXX – XXX – XXXX_

_Fuck, baby you've got me so close. I bet you're dripping pre for me._

 

One hand still palming his cock, Nitori snapped a picture, and sent it along. Dropping the phone back onto the bed, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself, could feel the pleasure cresting over the edge. As his orgasm began to rip through him, Nitori plunged one finger into his ass up to the first knuckle. The slight burn amplified the intensity, and he rode it out, feeling the rim of his ass clench around his finger as he coated his chest. His body going limp, he allowed himself to lie in the warm afterglow.

When his phone hadn't dinged, he frowned. His anon almost always texted back right away, but he picked his phone back up anyway. The blood froze in his veins, and he swore his heart stopped at seeing the name at the top of his messages. _Sousuke Yamazaki._ Oh, fuck. Hands trembling, he opened the message to confirm that he had indeed sent a picture. He just sent Sousuke an unsolicited dick pic.

He was panting again, but it was for different reasons as he felt panic rise in his chest. What should he do? There was no way he could pull the message back, and there was no excuse for it. It was a dick pic, that fact that painfully obvious.

His face burned a scarlett colour that he hadn't felt in a very long time, and he almost jumped out of his skin when his phone started ringing.

 

_Call From: Sousuke Yamazaki_

 

Oh fuck. He was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my [tumblr](https://neonna.tumblr.com/) for fic updates, porn, and maybe even original work.


	4. Oops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I tried to have Sousuke contact Nitori in a different way that wasn't creepy, I really did, but when it came time to write, I couldn't think of any other way. Well, hopefully it turned out anyway. Enjoy!

Nitori hadn't meant to ignore Sousuke's text. He hadn't replied at first because he hadn't spoken to Sousuke since him, and Rin had graduated. He wasn't sure what he wanted from his former teammate, but he hadn't meant the first point of contact to be a picture of his dick either.

His heart beat all the way up in his throat as he stared at the incoming call. Sousuke would have seen the picture by now, so why was he calling? He didn't think that picture was actually meant for him, did he? The thought made the blush already staining Nitori's cheeks turn a deeper shade of red. He felt it burning his skin, and a big part of him was tempted to just ignore the call altogether, better to pretend it didn't happen, feign ignorance.

The phone stopped ringing, the screen clearing as the call was sent to voicemail. The only sound he could hear was the blood pumping in his ears as he sat, his mind reeling. When the phone rang again, Nitori almost whined, and when he answered his voice shook.

"Thanks for the picture," Sousuke said, his voice sounded strained. Was he laughing at him?

"S-Sousuke I'm sorry. I know it's late, that wasn't meant for you," he blurted.

There was a pause where choked laughter came through the line. "So it was meant for someone else? You've gotten bold in the last year if you spend your time spending pictures of your dick in the middle of the night..."

He was going to die, that was it. He didn't even listen to the rest of Sousuke's teasing, too mortified to do anything, but sit there, and let the skin of his face burn in shame.

He sat in silence for so long that Sousuke paused. "Hello?...Ai? You still there?"

Nitori almost hung up on him...almost.

"I'm still here," he said, his voice weak.

"I'm sorry," Sousuke said. "I shouldn't have teased you so much. I guess it was just a shock, you know? First you ignore my text, and then the first word I get from you is...well, you know. I'm actually kind of jealous that it was meant for someone else."

"What?" Somewhere in his fried brain he caught the hidden meaning in Sousuke's words.

"Nothing. It's late so I'll say goodnight."

"Okay, goodnight Sousuke."

When he hung up the phone, he threw it down onto his bed, watching it bounce into the air before settling onto the mattress. He never wanted to see that phone again.

Nitori winced as he registered the sticky mess that was rapidly drying on his chest. He wrapped a towel around his waist, and dug around in the laundry hamper to find a dirty shirt to wear to hide the fact that he had come all over him. Opening the door to his dorm, he headed for the showers.

 

Nitori dove into his schoolwork, the swim team, and anything else he could find as a distraction from the embarrassing incident over the weekend. He was too mortified to even look up porn on the internet, and he ignored all personal text messages, but especially ones he received from Sousuke. If he hadn't been ready to face him before then he definitely wasn't ready now.

"Is something wrong, Senpai?" Momotarou asked with all the subtly of an incoming freight truck.

Nitori was studying, or trying to with his desk having become a mess again. It was a habit he was trying to work himself out of, but he could usually only manage to keep his desk clean for a week, or two before it was piled high with books, and papers.

"What do you mean?" Nitori mumbled, leaning back in his chair, and rubbing at his face.

"Normally it's impossible to get you away from your phone, but lately I haven't seen you texting at all. Did something happen?"

It was too late at night for him to be annoyed with his roommate, but he felt the steady pulse in his temples anyway.

"None of your business," he muttered, getting to his feet, and grabbing his gym bag.

It was rare that he was so direct with Momotarou. Even when he was annoyed the most, Nitori tried to be gentle with him because Momotarou's actions always reminded himself of someone.

The pool was quiet, and he almost changed into his jammers out in the open, but thought the better of it as he glanced out the large windows. It was already dark, and anyone wandering by could see him clearly. He opted to change in the privacy of the change room.

His strokes were lazy as he slid into the water. He swam a few slow laps to warm himself up, and hung onto the edge for a moment, visualizing the proper stroke. When he pushed off, it was with intent, but as he worked his way to the other side, Nitori could feel something was off. His stroke wasn't as strong as it should be. He swam a few more laps like that, and when his stroke still wasn't corrected, he wiped the hair from his eyes with a huff.

Everyone had off days, including him. It was late, and he wasn't focused, but it was frustrating nonetheless. Nitori took a deep breath, and let it out slowly as he struggled to accept that he just wouldn't perform tonight. When he pushed off again, he focused on each movement of his body until he reached the other side.

"Your stroke is off."

That voice belonged to the last person he wanted to see, but instead of feeling an embarrassed flush spread along his cheeks, Nitori's eyes narrowed in a glare, trained on Sousuke standing pool-side with his hands in his pockets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my [tumblr](https://neonna.tumblr.com/) for fic updates, porn, and maybe even original work.


	5. I Like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this moves your Monday along a little bit. Enjoy!

“What do you want?” Nitori asked, wiping the water from his face with one hand.

Sousuke shrugged, his shoulders drawing up to his ears, and slumping back down. "I figured you wouldn't answer your phone so I -"

"Decided to stalk me?"

A small, half-grin spread on Sousuke's face. "You make it sound so creepy."

"It _is_ creepy."

"Fine. I'll help you with your stroke then."

"In return for what? Letting you wander the school grounds?"

Sousuke didn't answer him, just stared, and Nitori gave a sigh. He was being difficult, but it wasn't his fault, it was Sousuke who broke into the school in the first place.

"Fine."

They didn't talk while Nitori swam. He just listened as Sousuke walked beside the pool, and gave him the proper corrections. After an hour, he was panting, clinging to the edge of the pool, and waving his hand in a signal to stop.

He felt better. Of course his form wasn't going to be perfect so late at night, but he wasn't going to turn down free coaching either.

Nitori motioned Sousuke to follow as he made his way into the change room.

"What brought you here?" Nitori asked as he pulled his bag from the locker, and set it down on the bench behind him.

Sousuke leaned back against the other row of lockers, and crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes followed Nitori's movements as he dug out his clothes. To his credit, Sousuke did have the decency to avert his gaze when Nitori peeled off his wet jammers with his back turned.

"I already told you, I didn't think you would answer the phone," Sousuke said. "Figured we should talk about...well about the picture you sent me."

Nitori felt his shoulders tense, and knew Sousuke saw it. If he weren't a friend, someone who knew him, Nitori wouldn't have cared. If he were talking to one of his random hook-ups, it wouldn't have mattered if they had seen his dick, or knew the intention behind the picture, but this was Sousuke, and Nitori was sure the other wouldn't understand his new lifestyle, so different from a year ago.

He had always been a pervert, keeping magazines stashed in his dorm, and he was sure Rin had even found one at some point. Jerking off had always been a regular part of his routine too, but fantasizing, and putting something into action were very different things. He was sure Sousuke still thought him the same, seemingly innocent boy from when he attended Samezuka.

"What is there to talk about?" Nitori challenged, slipping his shirt on, and reaching for his pants.

"Well, for starters I should say that I'm not sorry you sent it," Sousuke replied, his eyes following Nitori's motions again now that he was more decent.

Nitori leveled him an even stare right back as he buttoned his pants, trying to work out what Sousuke was getting at, and wanting to tread carefully.

"...and?" Nitori said.

"Jesus Ai, do I have to spell it out for you? I like you, okay?"

"So what does that mean?" Nitori said without let-up. "You like me, so what? Do you just want to fuck me? Do you want to date me, be my boyfriend? Are you even out? What about Rin? Are you okay with him knowing? I'm sorry, Sousuke, but saying that you like me means nothing."

"When did you become so lippy?"

"If you don't like it, you can leave." Nitori pushed his feet into his shoes, and grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. "I don't have time for this, Sousuke."

"Wait, Ai. I'm sorry."

When Nitori paused, and turned, Sousuke took a breath.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "You're...more confident. I like it, I like it a lot. It's just a bit of a shock, kind of like getting the picture. I never expected that from you, but maybe I never really knew you at all either. You worked so hard throughout the year I was here, we didn't have much time to talk."

Nitori stared for a long moment, eyeing Sousuke up. It wasn't a love confession, but he wasn't sure he wanted one. For the first time since he started whoring around, he felt his new-found confidence stutter.

"I guess I just want to get you know you better," Sousuke said. "See what happens from there."

Nitori opened his mouth to reply, and it was by chance that his gaze slipped down and off to the side, a habit when he was trying to convey something. When he spotted a pair of lacy panties left on the bench his bag had been on, he felt his face flame red. They were in the boy's locker room, and since Sousuke had watched him change, he was sure his former senpai had seen them. Nitori had gone commando on purpose, sliding his pants on bare because he was well aware that he had worn panties instead of briefs. Without saying anything, he turned on his heel, and stomped out of there.

He walked Sousuke to the main gate, only half-listening to what he was saying, his mind fixated on the panties. His mortification could not be stopped, Sousuke knew he wore lacy underwear. He hadn't said anything about it, but Nitori was sure it was going to be a factor contributing to him changing his mind about the whole thing.

He said goodbye with a wave, and hurried back to the change room to retrieve the panties, his face still burning.

 

Later that night his phone binged. A message from Sousuke with a photo attachment.

 

_From: Sousuke Yamazaki_

_Just so we're even._

 

Nitori opened the photo, and blinked at it, sure he was hallucinating.

"Holy fuck," he breathed as he stared at the image of Sousuke's cock.

Sousuke was hard, a drop of precome captured rolling from the head, and down the side of his length. He had a fist around the base, just above a patch of neatly trimmed dark hair to angle himself for the photo. Sousuke wasn't naked, having just pulled a pair of black sweats low on his hips, but he wore no shirt, or at least had his shirt pulled up so Nitori had a view of the first few rolls of the muscles on his stomach.

Nitori was instantly hard, and tenting the inside of his pajama bottoms. It was late enough that Momotarou was already sleeping on the bunk above him. With one hand clasped tightly over his mouth to muffle the needy sounds, Nitori jerked off to the mental image of the photo, and fantasized about what Sousuke would do to him. He didn't care that his teammate would likely feel the rough movements, tried to be subtle, but couldn't help it as he bucked into his hands a few times as he came, staining the inside of his sleeping pants, and biting down on his bottom lip so he wouldn't whimper Sousuke's name.


	6. Tricky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt that it was time for some smut. Yeah, that's it. Enjoy!

Edging could be tricky. As much as Nitori loved it, craved the feel of his orgasm building only to be yanked away from the edge, it could also leave him needy, and breathless. Each time he denied himself, he became accustomed to the feel of the building pleasure, and it took more and more to get him off the longer he edged in a single session.

Nitori panted, and went limp, slumping against the pillow. He let out a small whine of frustration as he rocked his hips into nothing. He stretched his hand out, and waited for the ache in his arm to fade. His dick pulsed from trying to make himself come, being right on the edge, but not able to push himself over. It wasn't uncommon for him to stop a session, forced to leave himself wanting because he was unable to get off.

He took a breath, and when he wrapped a hand around his cock again, he started slow. When he was so close, on the edge, but not sensitive enough to fall over, he needed to start from the beginning again. Relaxing, he ignored his body's urge to rush. Nitori watched as he dragged his hand from the base of his cock, all the way to the tip, wringing a drop of precome from the slit, and wiping it away with his thumb. He spread his legs wider, and built a slow rhythm, closing his eyes to focus on the slowly growing pleasure.

Nitori gave a sigh, and bit down on his bottom lip, arching into his hand. He picked up the pace, squeezing his cock with a painful edge that only intensified the pleasure. Soon he was panting again, groaning as he tried for release. He was close, so close he could feel it. His back bowed, and his muscles tensed, but after a few more desperate strokes, he collapsed on the bed again. Huffing in frustration, Nitori stared at the bottom of the bunk above him.

It was the middle of the afternoon on the weekend, and he had taken a study break for a quick jerk session. He knew he'd end up edging himself, but he was reluctant to go back to studying without coming first.

Wanting to try one more thing, Nitori rolled himself onto his belly, and gathered his knees under him, leaving his shoulders pressed into the mattress. He maneuvered himself so he was able to grab the lube, and spread some on his fingers, even if the positioning was a little awkward. Curling his fingers to keep the lube from dripping, he shoved a pillow under his stomach with his clean hand, but without resting his weight down on it, keeping himself braced on his knees. Licking his lips, he reached behind himself to brush his entrance with slick fingers.

It was touch-and-go with him, and fingering. He liked it, but sometimes the penetration felt too deep, too much. Still, Nitori had done it often enough that his body was used to it, opening up easily under two fingers. He curled his fingers, tugged on the rim, and shuddering at the feel of being stretched. As he began to fuck himself, sliding his fingers as deep as he could, his hips rocked forward, the underside of his cock brushing against the pillow under him. The feel of the rough fabric against the sensitive head of his cock made him gasp out, the sensation so different from his hand.

Supporting himself with one arm, he used it as leverage to shove back onto his fingers, and forward into the pillow. The pleasure began to build again, but it was different this time, more profound, and deeper that made him gasp out. When he was close, he ground his hips down in small circles, fucking his ass as hard as he could with his fingers. The pressure of his own weight on his cock felt so good, and he stuffed his fist between his teeth to keep from crying out as he finally came, the shuddering pleasure making him sob.

It was exhausting, edging for so long, but afterward he always felt so thoroughly fucked out. Nitori rolled so he wouldn't lie in his own come as he relaxed in the warm pulses of afterglow. He was covered in sweat, and felt as though it had been someone else who had fucked him good and proper.

After a few moments Nitori heaved himself to his feet, standing on shaky legs. He moved to the door to open it a crack, and grab the piece of blank paper he had stuck to the outside to ward Momotarou off.

Just as he was getting ready to head to the shower, his cell dinged a new text message.

 

_From: Mom_

_We are going away next weekend, and need someone to watch the house._

 

Nitori stared at the message in thought for a long moment, worrying his bottom lip.

 

 _From:_ _Aiichiro Nitori_

_Can I have a friend over?_

 

Before a response had even arrived because he already knew the answer, Nitori was holding the phone up to his ear while it rang. His throat was suddenly dry, and his heart pounded.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sousuke..."


	7. A Quick Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say about this one other than I hope this starts your weekend off right. Enjoy!

Nitori worried his bottom lip as he stared at the two outfits he had laid out in front of him on the bed. The weather was warm, warm enough to wear a dress, and if he were going to be alone for the evening, would be his outfit of choice. Sousuke's anticipated presence changed things.

Normally he would choose a pair of shorts, and a t-shirt, but Sousuke had already seen the panties that Nitori had left behind in the locker room. Even though he hadn't said anything, there was no way he would have missed it, and Nitori wondered how far he wanted to push Sousuke. Rin had accepted him wearing dresses, at least to the best of his knowledge. Nitori didn't exactly parade around Rin with dresses on either. Nitori couldn't help but wonder if Sousuke would be more accepting, or not. A large part of him didn't want anything to do with Sousuke at all if he didn't at least try, and understand.

Nitori came down the stairs, having opted for a loose pair of shorts, and a t-shirt. He glanced at the clock, and turned into the kitchen to prepare a snack. He was nervous, and fidgety, with restless energy that he poured into cutting each piece of fruit with meticulous effort. He was so focused on the individual task that when he looked up, and back at the clock it was much later than he had thought. Sousuke was late.

He popped a piece of fruit into his mouth, and wandered the house, not sure what to do with himself. He would come back into the kitchen for another bite of fruit, and wander out again. Nitori checked his phone, and saw no messages. He sat to try, and watch some TV, but the programs just weren't occupying his mind.

As the hot afternoon burned off into evening, he came back into the kitchen to start preparing dinner. His phone was still silent, and Nitori felt the anxious energy begin to fade as he began to accept that Sousuke wasn't coming. He had to force down the little voice in his head that whispered that Sousuke wasn't coming because of him. Sousuke had accepted, and there was probably a reason for blowing him off.

Just as he was picking his way through his dinner, his phone went off on the table beside him.

 

_From: Sousuke Yamazaki_

_I'm so sorry, Ai. I had an emergency at the university. One of my assignments due today wasn't sent properly, and I had to deliver it to my professor personally. There's still time, I can head over now?_

 

There was the reason. Nitori wasn't hurt, maybe a little disappointed, but it wasn't anything except some unfortunate circumstances. He felt drained from an afternoon of being anxious, and was already withdrawing into his own head-space.

 

 _From:_ _Aiichiro Nitori_

_It's okay. Why don't we cancel for now, and we can reschedule when I'm back at school?_

\----------

He didn't cancel on Sousuke out of spite, and he enjoyed the remainder of his time spent alone at his parents house. It did get a tad lonely though, and he was glad to be back at school.

Sousuke was in university, and had even made it onto their swim team, but he wasn't participating in events such as the relay. His shoulder had taken a bad beating in his final year of high school, and he was working to help it heal enough that he could swim a little before he finished his time at university. His chances of swimming professionally were very slim.

He was horny, and needy. It had been weeks since he had anything, but his own hand. Nitori avoided calling over one of his random hook-ups at first, feeling guilty at the thought of screwing someone else, but he quickly retracted that thought. They weren't dating, Sousuke wasn't his boyfriend, wasn't even his fuck buddy. He was a friend who had told Nitori he liked him, that didn't mean that Nitori had to stop his old lifestyle. So he set up a date.

 

Finding a place to fuck on school grounds was tricky. If Momotarou was away, Nitori used their dorm, but on a school night, his roommate didn't tend to leave the room. The locker room off the pool was his favourite place when there was nowhere else. He spent so much time practicing anyway that no one found it odd, and the private shower stalls offered the cover he needed. If he timed it right, he could end his evening practice just in time for a quick fuck before bed.

He was pushed up against the cold tile of the shower, just out of the water's spray. He wished their school uniform came with a tie so he would have something to bite down on to quiet the moans he couldn't stop from tumbling out of him. He rested his forehead on his arm, braced against the tile while one of his regulars took him from behind, firm hands gripping his hips so he couldn't shove back onto the cock that rocked in his ass.

He was fucked slow, and deep, the penetration making him pant. His partner for the evening wasn't so much thick as he was long, his cock splitting him wide. Nitori groaned as his partner pushed in to the hilt, and stayed there, grinding his hips in smooth circles. He swore as his partner wrapped a hand around his cock, and stroked him, making him clench down on the hardness inside of him.

"Ah, fuck yes." Nitori's hips jerked back, and his partner took the hint, thrusting his hips in smooth jabs without hilting himself. Mouth open wide, Nitori's voice was suddenly lost on him as he was see-sawed, the motion firm, but not rough that slid across his prostate every time.

"Gonna cum for me?" his partner growled, and Nitori nodded, not even able to moan anymore.

The rhythm changed, the pull less smooth, and instead turning into sharp thrusts, but Nitori's partner still didn't hilt himself all the way. There was no rough slap of skin against skin, and just as he was about to fall over the edge, the base of his cock was squeezed, making him sob out as his orgasm was stemmed.

"Not allowed to cum before I do, but you like this, don't you?" the man behind him drawled. "Like being forced to build up a nice big load."

He couldn't deny what was being said to him. He loved being edged, and loved it even more when a partner knew him well enough to edge him.

The guy behind him kept a fast pace on his cock, knowing enough that Nitori would become less sensitive. The result had Nitori jerking back as he became desperate for release, and before he knew it he was begging for it, his mind focused on nothing but the pleasure.

He didn't know how long he was held off for, it could have been minutes, or hours, but when tears began to track down his face he was finally taken pity on. His partner pressed in deep, groaning, and Nitori could feel his cock twitching as he spilled his release into the condom. The knowledge that the guy was coming made him shudder, and his vision whited as soon as the hand on his cock jerked him hard and fast. With a desperate, keening sob Nitori spilled all over the tile in front of him, the pleasure overwhelming him, and leaving him weak.

"Whoa, be careful. Are you okay?" the guy asked, catching Nitori when he slumped bonelessly.

Nitori nodded with a contented hum, and allowed himself to be lowered onto the tile so he was sitting with his back up against the wall. There was a reason this guy was one of his regulars.

He whined when the warm spray of the shower hit him in the face, and there was a short bark of laughter.

"Sorry," he guy said. "But you should get up, and wash off at least. Do you need help?"

Nitori shook his head, but stood on shaky legs. The guy helped him wash off, planting chaste kisses on the top of his head. When his partner seemed satisfied that Nitori was strong enough, he stepped out of the shower first.

"I'm going to take off," the guy said. "Thanks for giving me a call."

"Sure." Nitori gave him a small smile. "Anytime."

He was satisfied, beyond satisfied. After he had washed up, Nitori tugged at his cock contentedly, closing his eyes to the warm pulses, and the feel of his ass, still gaping from the fuck. He came one more time, jerking off lazily before finishing up.

He came out of the change room, humming low in his throat, and ready for bed. His body felt light, his head still fuzzy, and relaxed. So it was no wonder that he jumped out of his skin at the sound of Sousuke's voice.

The other gave him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry," Sousuke said. "Momotarou said you would be down here practicing, but I saw you were busy. I thought it would be rude if I didn't at least say hi."

Nitori felt the heat of a blush creep into his cheeks at the thought that Sousuke had just seen him getting fucked good, and proper.


	8. My Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've said this before, but I am really loving this Nitori character. I like that he's firm, and has good boundaries, especially with Sousuke. I'd think that's part of what makes him a good captain, but he's a lot more comfortable with himself, and it's awesome. Enjoy!

Nitori didn't know what to say so he said nothing.

Sousuke was trying to hide a small smirk, and Nitori wanted to glare at him, but he was too mortified.

"Whatever you do in your time is none of my business," Sousuke said, but his smirk grew wider. "Although I'm a little sad you didn't call me."

Nitori had seen that attitude before. A cocky, over-confident, and down-right annoying attitude. It was the attitude of someone whose ego was too much for them, and Nitori hated it. He could choose who he fucked, or didn't fuck, and it wasn't anyone's business either way.

"Why would I?" Nitori snapped, his tone clipped. "I may not be dating the guy who just left, but at least he's not cocky. He gets that I'm a slut, and knows that I have many other people I can call on, but I choose him do you know why? Because he treats me like a human being, Sousuke. He doesn't have any petty jealousy's, and definitely not a possessive attitude. You want some quality time with me? Then show me that you're worth it because with lines like that I'd never give you a second look. Also, stop just coming around here. I don't have time for this crap. Next time call ahead."

Nitori turned away from Sousuke with the intention of marching right back up to his dorm without another word. It was Sousuke who was infringing on his life anyway.

He pushed open the door to the building, feeling the outside air hit him. Before he could take another step, a hand was on the door above his own. Sousuke stood behind him, bracing his other arm against the door frame. His presence was too close, and Nitori took a step back to make some space for himself. He looked at Sousuke expectantly.

"I'm sorry," Sousuke said. "Next time I'll call. Yes, I am a little jealous, but who wouldn't be? I know it's my fault for not calling ahead. I'm curious about you. You turned out to be so different from what I thought you were, and I do feel a little possessive over you. How about this, would you like it if I stopped altogether? Stopped calling, stopped coming around, and allowed you to lead this relationship, if it is a relationship you want?"

Nitori wasn't fully convinced, and he eyed Sousuke carefully. "So – what? You'll just...stop?"

"It'll be like you never even sent me that dick pic in the first place."

Nitori couldn't help, but flush at that.

Sousuke stood, but his posture was non-committal, and Nitori considered his actions carefully. He needed time to think, some space apart. This whole mess started because of a mistake, and his prior relationship with Sousuke threw him off. He felt stuck in between two worlds: the Nitori that Sousuke thought he knew, and the Nitori he actually was. He knew he had been hiding himself, afraid of what Sousuke would think because he still had so much respect for him. Nitori had come so far in the last year, but he still admired Sousuke, and was afraid he'd think less of him. It was silly, and destructive. He was setting himself up for failure because if Sousuke really didn't like who he was, he would leave. So, Nitori decided that if he was going to do it, he was going to do it right. He had to get past the fact that Sousuke was his senior, the key point was the _was_ part, as in no longer. Past tense.

When he stepped forward, Sousuke watched him, but didn't move. He kept still while Nitori came into his space, and tilted his head up. When Nitori pressed their lips together, Sousuke kissed back, but didn't touch. His hands remained on the door, his grip tightening as Nitori swiped his tongue against his bottom lip.

It started slow, but Nitori didn't want to hold back, he wouldn't with any other guy, so why was Sousuke any different? The kiss turned from slow to playful with Nitori dipping his tongue into Sousuke's mouth, and pulling back. He nipped at Sousuke's lips, teeth scraping lightly, and when his fingers itched to feel how soft his hair was, he did that too, tangling his hand at his nape, and using the new-found leverage to pull Sousuke closer.

Sousuke was patient, allowing him to lead just like he had said, and Nitori liked it. When the kiss ended, Sousuke's eyes were glazed, and he struggled to focus on Nitori.

 

Sousuke kept his word. He didn't call, or text, and Nitori felt as though a weight were lifted off his chest, a pressure he hadn't known was there. He was free to focus on his studies, and the swim team.

It was over a weekend where Nitori had left campus to look at getting a new pair of jammers when he saw Sousuke. He was with a girl on a date as was obvious by the way they were leaning into each other as they walked down the street. Nitori felt the bubbling in his stomach that could only be jealousy, and he swore under his breath.

Jealousy was his least-favourite emotion, and it was rare that he felt it. It was a complicated feeling that tended to stem from many things. In this case it stemmed from the fear of loss, specifically Sousuke. It was ridiculious and childish and stupid. He hated it most of all because he chose this. If he was fucking other people, than of course Sousuke was too. Why wouldn't he?

Nitori chanced another glance up. Sousuke was moving away from him, his back turned, and Nitori wouldn't lie to say that it hurt when he saw Sousuke's hand move to rest on the girl's hip.

"God damnit, Ai."


	9. Silly Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not mean to take so long in updating this. I managed to get my hands on a mountain bike, and have been wanting to spend some time in the Canadian back-country because, why not? Anyway, here it is! Enjoy!
> 
> P.S: Did they go to Nationals? That's what it's called, right? Normally I'd cruise the episodes to find out, but I haven't had the time, so if that wording is wrong please let me know! :)

Nationals were fast-approaching. Nitori was trying his damnedest not to subsist off a diet heavily laden with caffeine; he needed his body in the best shape. He focused on endurance training, and perfected his form, swimming more laps than he could count until he was satisfied.

After high school weighed on his mind. There would be scouts desperate to get their hands on strong swimmers. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do after graduation, but he did know that he needed to decide quickly. He was strong, and his body had grown a lot in the last year, but he was still one of the smallest swimmers he competed against. Although it was true that he had no major injuries in his past, he often wondered if his mind were in professional swimming too.

He didn't have a personal life. Nitori had gotten into the habit of tuning his phone off except to contact the team, and ignored all other messages. Even though he didn't know what he wanted for his future, he wasn't about to squander any opportunities either. A lay wasn't that important. He was too exhausted after practice to think about anything, but school, and the team anyway.

The hotel was always big. It was the same as it had been the year before. He gave a pep-talk to the team, and was just about to head up to his room to deposit his bags when a shrill voice cut through the fog of his thoughts.

"Ai-chan!"

Nitori winced, and braced himself just as a tousle of blonde hair were shoved under his nose. Nagisa hugged him close, uncaring that they were getting smiles, and chortles from some of Nitori's teammates that were hanging around.

He wanted to tell Nagisa off so he could go to bed, but he didn't. He didn't for the same reason that no one else ever did: they couldn't. No one could resist Nagisa when he cast his eyes downward, and pursed his lips together. Nitori had to wonder if it weren't how Nagisa, and Rei's relationship functioned.

They made small talk, with Nitori struggling to find a place in between Nagisa's excited babble to excuse himself. Eventually Rei caught on with a knowing smile, and stopped Nagisa just as he was about to launch into another long-winded story.

"I think the captain of Samezuka has a lot of work to do," Rei said. "And so do we. Goodnight, and we hope to see you tomorrow."

 

The silence of his hotel room was like heaven, and Nitori sprawled out on the bed with a deep sigh. Even though he was sharing a room with Momotarou – as usual – the redhead was out for the time-being. He hoped he would get at least a solid hour by himself before bed. With Nationals so close, there wasn't much else to do, but take good care of his body.

The knock at his door drew a low groan from his throat, and after a moment's pause, he hoisted himself back off the bed to answer it.

"Took you long enough," Rin teased, and Nitori felt a shiver run down his spine at not only the sight of his former captain, but of Sousuke standing right behind him. The brunette wasn't meeting Nitori's gaze.

"Well, let us in," Rin huffed, pushing his way into the room. "Sousuke didn't want to come, but I thought it would be good for him. He hasn't been doing anything productive lately."

Nitori ignored the impulse to glare at Sousuke, determined not to act like a child, and turned his attention to Rin instead.

"What are you doing here, Rin-s...Rin?" Nitori asked.

That made Rin give one of his wide smiles, and a low chuckle. "What, no senpai?"

Nitori was about to explain that Rin wasn't his senpai anymore, but the former captain gave a wave of his hand. "I was just teasing, Ai. How are you feeling?"

They settled into their respective spots, Nitori and Rin sitting on the edge of each one of the beds to talk about the next day, while Sousuke stood by the window. His gaze was fixed outside, but his body was turned towards them, listening in on their conversation.

Rin tried his best to prepare him for what was to come, and when their business talk was over, they lapsed into an easy discussion about the going ons of their personal lives. Of course, Nitori left out the kiss shared between him, and Sousuke. As his former captain, and ex-boyfriend, Nitori wasn't sure how Rin would react to the news that he had shared intimacies with his best friend.

Nitori began yawning. He tried to stifle it at first, holding back, and trying not to show his former captain any disrespect, but once the day crept up on him, he couldn't hide it. Rin smiled, and gave him a jab in the shoulder, getting to his feet in an effort to excuse himself.

Sousuke hesitated, and Nitori could see something flicker in his eyes before he followed after Rin. Rin waved goodbye with a smile, and Nitori waited until the redhead turned away before he glanced back at Sousuke. Sousuke opened his mouth as though to say something, but he just snapped his jaw shut, shoved his hands in his pockets, and left with a polite nod.

He closed the door to his hotel room feeling conflicted. Nitori knew what he had to do – what Rin had warned him he needed to do – but he was distracted. His chest felt tight, his heart fluttering. He wanted something from Sousuke, had wanted Sousuke to do something, but what?

He took a deep, calming breath, taking the time to fill his diaphragm, and feeling his heart begin to slow down. He didn't have the time to be worrying about silly things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my [tumblr](https://neonna.tumblr.com/) for fic updates, porn, and maybe even original work.


	10. Be Honest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad I finally managed to get this out. Writing fic has been very difficult for me lately, but I love this series. Enjoy!

It was a strange feeling. Nitori knew he was on a team. His teammates were right in front of him, but it was as though he were several paces ahead of them. As team captain they relied on him for support, and he was feeling the pressure, like a weight on his chest.

As soon as he felt himself spiraling, Nitori took a deep breath. He needed his team just as much as they needed him, but at that moment he felt so alone, standing with his toes on the edge of the jump board. Now wasn't the time to be criticizing himself. He had done it; while in his second year he had initially wanted to follow Rin, and had challenged himself to swim two different styles. Now, in his final year, he had succeeded, but not for the reason he had originally thought. He swam two styles now to prove to himself that he could do it.

Nitori pulled his goggles over his eyes, and leaned over to grip at the front of the jump board. As his heart began to pump, filling his system with adrenaline, and endorphin's that made everything look sharp, all thoughts were forced from his mind: his responsibility as captain, Sousuke, all of it, and he dove into the water.

 

He had placed high in both rounds, received praise from his team, and ensured his duty as captain by encouraging his own team.

After he had dressed, and was about to go out to dinner with his team, Rin had come to congratulate him, and behind him was Sousuke. He was still acting weird, standing behind Rin, and shifting on his feet. He wasn't really meeting Nitori's gaze, but he wasn't avoiding him either, as though he were torn between the two.

"Want your former captain along?" Rin teased, and Nitori wasn't exactly in a position to say no.

At the restaurant, Nitori sat beside Sousuke, and used the time it took for everyone to get settled to get a few words in.

"What's up with you?" Nitori hissed. "You've been acting weird."

"You asked me to stay away," Sousuke said. "I don't want to infringe on your space."

"Is that what's been going on?"

"What did you think was going on?"

Their conversation was interrupted by someone garnering Nitori's attention, and he was pulled into the conversation.

 

After dinner they gathered outside the restaurant in preparation to head back to the hotel when Nitori grabbed hold of the hem of Sousuke's shirt where no one would see.

"Sousuke and I are going to take a different route home," Nitori said, smiling when that earned him questioning looks. They managed to brush it off as something casual between friends, and everyone was too full and tired to care, except Rin. Rin studied him in a way that made him feel uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry," Nitori said as they began walking in the opposite direction of everyone else. "I needed to focus on Nationals, and end the year strong. I didn't want any distractions."

Sousuke nodded, but didn't say anything, waiting for him to finish.

"I suppose you're seeing someone now?" Nitori tried to smile, could feel it faltering at the realization that Sousuke may well have found someone else. Nitori told himself that he made the right choice irregardless.

Sousuke shrugged. "I've been seeing a few people."

"Oh."

"Don't you see a few people?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you have several different people you can call in your phone, don't you?"

It dawned on him that Sousuke was speaking about his hookups, and felt a flush work its way across his skin. Nitori nodded.

"It's like that," Sousuke continued. "I have people in my phone too."

Nitori frowned as he tried to wade through Sousuke's vague words, and found himself lost. He struggled between the push, and pull of leaving well enough alone, or digging for more, but they were in this situation because of him in the first place.

"Sousuke." Nitori came to a stop so suddenly someone walking behind him almost collided into his back. "I need you to be honest with me," he said. "I know that I brushed you off before, but if you're available well...I like you and wouldn't mind seeing you."

Sousuke had stopped several paced ahead of him, and was turning to face him. "You've been flakey with me, and I don't like that. I understand that it's your last year, but you could have just said that from the start. I'm not one of your toys, and I won't settle for just being someone on the side for you. If you like me, and want to see me, really want to see me then it's for real."

Nitori's throat was becoming dry. "Well – I -"

"Ai." Sousuke was stepping forward into his personal space, making people passing by beginning to stare. "I don't do things half-way. If I'm going to do this, those numbers disappear, and I need the same to happen for you."

Nitori nodded, and it was like the ground under his feet wouldn't keep still. His world was spinning as Sousuke was so close he could feel the heat from his body. He nearly forgot about the staring people until a gasp from a passerby shook him out of it. Part of him wanted to be embarrassed while another wanted to snap at them, but before he could do either Sousuke gripped his arm, and was dragging him away.

A nearby alley was dark, and provided the cover needed to get away from prying eyes. They moved around a corner, and Sousuke pressed him up against the wall. When he leaned in close, everything was spinning again.

"Is this okay?" Sousuke asked, and Nitori was nodding before his mind had a chance to catch up to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my [tumblr](https://neonna.tumblr.com/) for fic updates, porn, and maybe even original work.


	11. Dirty It Is Then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh porn, how I've missed you. Enjoy!

The feel of the wall, hard behind him, and Sousuke's warmth in front of him was delicious. He was already panting, a desperate feeling creeping into his chest as Sousuke's tongue pushed into his mouth. Nitori groaned; he wanted Sousuke closer, and he tugged at his jacket, gasping when his silent plea was answered, and Sousuke slid a knee in between his thighs, giving him something to grind against. After only a few minutes of making out, he was hard, painfully so, and Nitori rocked against Sousuke in search of something to relieve a little of the ache. He was pressed tighter against Sousuke as his former senpai cupped his ass, squeezing, and grinding back against him.

"I can't believe you have me nearly ready to come in my pants in some alley," Sousuke growled, moving to lick a stripe down Nitori's throat in a way that made his head spin.

His cock pulsed at the thought of Sousuke driven wild, but he wasn't any better. He began to squirm, moaning, and shivering as heat spread through his abdomen. A whine left his throat when Sousuke didn't stop, and for a moment Nitori was afraid that he wasn't going to; that Sousuke was going to make him come, but he eased up, making enough room between them for Nitori to breathe.

He could feel Sousuke warm, and pulsing against his hip. Pulling Sousuke down for another kiss, Nitori licked the inside of his mouth as he reached down. Sousuke thrust mindlessly into his hand as Nitori squeezed him through his pants, his mouth going dry at the feel of Sousuke's cock, even through clothing. It wasn't that he was particularly large, but it was Sousuke, and the thought that Nitori had him here made a certain rush race through him.

The cement hurt his knees a little, Nitori dropping down too hard, and too fast in his eagerness. Above him Sousuke licked his lips, and braced both hands against the wall. Nitori unbuttoned Sousuke's pants, his heart racing, and grateful that his fingers held no tremble. The alley was dark, and so long as Sousuke stayed quiet, no one should stumble across them, not that Nitori ever really cared much about those sorts of things anyway. When he held Sousuke's cock in his hand, pumping it slowly, Nitori paused to look up at him.

"Do you want it clean, or dirty?" he asked, leaning forward to flick his tongue against the tip, and making Sousuke jerk.

"Fuck, Ai. I won't last long like this," Sousuke breathed. "However you want it."

Nitori gave a small smile, but ducked his head forward just a little, a sheepish gesture. "Dirty it is then."

Nitori licked his lips to wet them, and opened his mouth. He didn't swallow Sousuke right away, Nitori wanted it to last a little longer than that. He could feel Sousuke twitching against his tongue, his cock straining. Nitori placed both hands on Sousuke's thighs for balance as he leaned back just a little, encouraging Sousuke to give slow, shallow thrusts. He didn't allow Sousuke to go deep, not yet hitting the back of his throat, but he felt him shudder above him.

Nitori was so focused on the length filling his mouth that he lost track of time. He didn't know how long he knelt there, but he noticed it when Sousuke's breathing became laboured, and a string of swears left his mouth. Sousuke's thighs were trembling with the strain of holding back, so Nitori eased him further, into his throat. Nitori felt Sousuke instinctively pull back when he gagged, and Nitori gave a small smile as he encouraged Sousuke to thrust again with a reassuring squeeze to his thigh. This time Sousuke didn't stop, and Nitori breathed carefully as his throat was stuffed full. His nose touched the soft curles at the base of Sousuke's cock. Breathe again.

"Jesus Christ," Sousuke panted above him. "You're so fucking perfect."

Sousuke eased from his throat just as he was starting to gag. He gave Nitori a moment to adjust, and catch his breath. When Nitori felt Sousuke bury a hand in his hair with a firm grip, he couldn't stop the small whimper from leaving his lips at the excitement of someone else taking control.

Sousuke was slow at first, easing himself down Nitori's soft throat until he gagged before pulling back. After a while, he held for a beat while Nitori gagged around him, feeling tears welling in his eyes, and saliva beginning to drip down his chin. He murmered praise above him that Nitori couldn't help, but moan to, feeling his own confined cock pulse.

Slowly, Sousuke built a steady rhythm of deep thrusts that made Nitori's head spin. He felt an oddly familiar darkening at the edges of his vision as he was lulled into the rhythm.

"Ai, you're being so good for me," Sousuke murmured. "Just a little longer."

The words seemed far away. Nitori felt his throat vibrate as a noise left him, and he heard Sousuke swear above him, but his focus was on the cock that fucked down his throat. Sousuke was getting comfortable, his movements becoming more rough, and Nitori was getting off to it. After a few more thrusts, when Sousuke gave a deep shudder, Nitori shoved him, forcing him out of his mouth. He wrapped a hand around Sousuke's cock, staring up at him as he pumped with his mouth wide open. He could imagine what he looked like: eyes glazed, spit running down his chin and mouth hanging open, and waiting.

"Holy fuck, Ai," Sousuke groaned.

With a shiver he came, cock twitching, and spurting into Nitori's mouth, and onto his face. It was warm, slightly bitter, but all Sousuke. Sousuke slumped, eyes unfocused, and panting.

Nitori got to his feet carefully, his knees sore from the cement. He must have been down there for longer than he had thought. Sousuke was tucking himself back into his pants. When he leaned in, Nitori shied away.

"Don't," he said quietly. "I taste like you."

"So?" Sousuke growled, kissing him long, and deep. "Jesus. I never knew you were so good." He palmed at the front of Nitori's pants, making him gasp. "Lets hurry back so I can get you off."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my [tumblr](https://neonna.tumblr.com/) for fic updates, porn, and maybe even original work.


	12. Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never ever use baby, or babe, or any other pet names like in real life, or in fic, but for some reason it just seemed to suit Sousuke. Enjoy!

It wasn't enough, it was never enough.

A low whine escaped from the back of his throat as Nitori came. He milked himself through it, his back arching, and his lips parted as he panted for air. He relaxed back into the bed, the warmth of his orgasm spreading through him, but the itch wasn't gone. His hole clenched around nothing, making him squirm. He worried his bottom lip. He needed to be fucked.

Sousuke had been busy with university. While they didn't exactly have a monogamous arrangement, Nitori didn't want anyone else. Sex was enjoyable with other people, but they weren't Sousuke. They didn't have the same smell, the same familiar feeling, and they couldn't fuck him into the mattress until he was sobbing with pleasure.

Nitori groaned, rolling onto his stomach. He ignored the messy sheets, they needed to be changed anyway. He sighed, and closed his eyes, willing his body to rest. With his schedule completely clear, it was torture. Nothing to distract him meant he spent all his time being horny. Hours of jerking off was no replacement for the fucking he was craving.

He napped lightly while his body came down from the high, but it wasn't long before the burn began to grow in his veins again. Was Sousuke suffering as much as him? _Should_ he be? Nitori smiled at the idea, and the more he turned it around in his head, the more his grin widened. This whole thing had started with a misplaced dick pic in the first place.

Nitori pulled himself onto his knees, arching his back into a luxurious stretch, and licking his lips. He hummed in thought for a moment. There were so many options. Sousuke wasn't stupid, but Nitori wondered if he could be riled up...

 

Sousuke was trying not to be annoyed, but he felt as though his patience were being tested. His professor was a no-show again, and it was just getting ridiculous. He wondered if it was too late to drop the class.

He waited across the hall from his classroom, leaning up against the wall, and out of the way of other passing students. When his phone vibrated in his pocket, Sousuke pulled it out, and opened the newest message from Ai. It had an attachment, and he tapped on it without thinking.

"Holy fuck," Sousuke breathed.

He smashed his phone against his chest as a group of students passed by a little too close for comfort. Sousuke wasn't dumb enough to think that Ai was his, but he didn't want to flaunt naked pictures of him either.

Phone in hand, Sousuke fidgeted, suddenly antsy.

He checked his email. No word from the instructor.

Making an annoyed sound under his breath, Sousuke decided to fuck it, and started moving down the hallway towards the dorms.

It was a busy time on campus, and students were everywhere. Sousuke squared his shoulders as he moved through the crowd. Students parted for him, but he didn't care. Anything to get him back to the dorm faster.

He turned down a quieter hallway, and pulled his phone out again.

 

_From: Sousuke Yamazaki_

_What the hell, Ai?_

 

_From: Aiichiro Nitori_

_Do you like it?_

 

_From: Sousuke Yamazaki_

_What if I were in class?_

 

_From: Aiichiro Nitori_

_And what would you do if you were?_

 

Shit. That boy was going to be the end of him.

Sousuke didn't chance another glance at the picture until he was in his room. He made sure to lock the door before slamming it behind him.

Once he was in the safety of his own room, he looked at the photo again, really looked at it. Ai was reclined back on his bed, completely naked. His stomach was already coated with come, and he was hard again. The caption read 'miss you', and Sousuke growled.

Ai was an amazing fuck. Sousuke had known he would be, but he had completely blown his mind. If he didn't have another class later that day, he would already be on the train.

 

_From: Sousuke Yamazaki_

_Damnit, Ai._

 

_From: Aiichiro Nitori_

_Are you hard? Show me._

 

So they were doing this. That was fine with him, Sousuke wasn't one to be shy.

With a small smirk, he pulled the waistband of his pants away from his body, angled his phone, and snapped the photo.

 

_From: Aiichiro Nitori_

_Fuck, Sou. I wish you were here._

 

He couldn't take it anymore. Sousuke hit the call button, and waited. It rang, and rang. After the fourth ring, Sousuke began to worry that maybe Ai was busy, that he was just being teased. The call was answered on the fifth ring, and Ai picked up with a breathy little moan.

"Shit," Sousuke swore. "Ai, what are you doing?"

"I-ah! I'm fingering myself, Sousuke," Ai panted. "I've come so many times today, but it's not enough."

Sousuke swallowed, and pushed himself away from the door. He kicked off his shoes, and sat down on the edge of the bed before he fell down, suddenly light-headed.

In the background he could hear wet sounds next to Ai's soft pants. He sounded good, more than good he sounded amazing. Sousuke's cock pulsed.

He put the phone down on the bedspread, leaning back on his hands, and closing his eyes. Sousuke let out a shaky breath. Holy fuck. He was going to lose it if he wasn't careful. He licked his lips, feeling the heat surge through his body. A few more shuddering breaths, and he heard an alarmed Ai speaking in a tiny voice through the phone.

"Sousuke?...Sousuke?!"

"I'm here." When Sousuke spoke his voice was calm, and he could hear the huskiness that had slipped into his tone in response to his arousal. He heard Ai's breath hitch on the other end of the line.

Cradeling the phone in between his ear and shoulder, Sousuke got comfortable, leaning back on his hands again.

"Is this what you want, Ai?" Sousuke paused after the rhetorical question, giving himself a moment to think. He could have this over in minutes, but with time before his next class, he wanted to drag it out a little more. Ai needed to be punished anyway.

He could hear the steady wet sounds of Ai's fingers, imagined them pushing into his needy hole, and back out. His pace was slow, and Sousuke mirrored it.

"Stretch yourself more for me," Sousuke breathed. "How many fingers are you using?"

Ai whimpered in his ear, and it made Sousuke involuntarily buck into his hand. Shit. He let go of his cock, and forced his hand to rest on the bed, or he'd come long before Ai.

"O-one," Ai panted.

Sousuke tsked. "You can do better than that, Ai."

Ai laughed low, but it was cut off into a soft moan. The line became muffled as though the phone had been dropped onto the bed. Sousuke heard the pop of a cap, and then the wet sound of Ai working his fingers back into himself. His breath hitched, and Sousuke strained to hear every detail. Ai grunted, gasping lightly, but it wouldn't take long. He had adjusted to Sousuke quickly, and had experience already. It was a stark contrast to the Ai he had known at Samezuka.

Ai moaned something that sounded suspiciously like his name, and he had to force himself to focus.

"It's it. Stretch yourself for me. Imagine isn't my cock pushing deep inside you. You know how I fuck: I'd pin your hips down so you couldn't move, and make you take it deep, and slow."

Ai cried out over the line at his words, and Sousuke couldn't ignore his own need anymore. He shifted on the bed, the cheap springs creaking under his weight as he reclined back against the headboard. Licking his lips, he teased the head of his cock with his fingers, smearing the precome there as he prepared for the next step.

"As punishment for sending me naked pictures while in class, you're not allowed to touch your dick for the rest of the day," Sousuke said.

A long, drawn-out whine came across the speakers.

"I mean it, Ai," Sousuke said again, his tone more firm. "I want you to come just from your fingers in your ass. You can do that for me, can't you?"

There was the sound of whooshing air, Ai must have him on speaker phone, and was nodding his head.

"Good. Now, I want you to pull your fingers all the way out for me. This is always my favourite part," Sousuke made sure to lower his voice for Ai's benefit, feeling the sound rumble in his chest.

In answer, Ai gasped, and then whimpered. Sousuke could see it, Ai's hole twitching with need as he clutched at the sheets just waiting for Sousuke to fuck him already.

"S-Sousuke."

There it was. Normally he'd slam deep into Ai's body, and fuck the boy until he couldn't take it anymore, but he wasn't there. That was his reality, and the innate need to satisfy his lover just wouldn't go away. Since it was over the phone, Ai would be more difficult to be left an exhausted, whimpering mess, but Sousuke was up for the challenge.

"You're doing so good for me, Ai," Sousuke praised. "I want you to sit up, back on your knees, and spread them wide. Like you would if you were about to suck my cock."

He paused while Ai shuffled into position, and when the rustling stopped, Sousuke continued.

"Arch your back. I can imagine you looking so pretty, so needy. Play with your nipples for me. Hmm, you've always been strangely sensitive there, like a woman."

"Ah! I-mm-not a woman!"

Sousuke smirked. He had hit a nerve, but it was only part of the process. Rarely did he disrespect Ai like that, but today was a different day. Today, Ai was the one acting like a little bitch, sending him nude photos in public.

"No?" Sousuke teased. "You're right, I'm sorry. You're not a woman, you're a man. A man who can't live without having a cock buried deep in your ass. Is that who you are?"

Ai didn't answer him, and the line was filled with his lover panting in his ear. Sousuke indulged himself, stroking his cock in time to the noises coming out of Ai's mouth. Soon he was thrusting into his own hand, and he had to resist the urge to laugh at himself. Ai may be a bitch for his cock, but he needed Ai just as much. Just hearing his faint pants over the phone was enough to get him off, and he stopped stroking himself again, taking a shuddering breath.

Ai must not have heard it because he didn't make a comment, but he hadn't answered Sousuke's question either.

"Yes," Ai whispered.

Sousuke hummed in approval. "Yes what, Ai?"

"Yes I...need your cock. I need to be fucked by you. Only you."

Shit. Sousuke had to squeeze the base of his cock hard to prevent himself from coming. It wasn't just Ai's words that had him dangerously close to the edge, it was that knowledge that Ai was telling the truth. He could have anyone he wanted, Sousuke wasn't about to limit him by making monogamy a term in their relationship, but the fact that Ai craved him...made Sousuke burn with the need to be there, and please his lover right.

"Fuck...Ai." Sousuke allowed his dominant facade to crack just a little. "I almost came when you said that. Jesus, I wish I was there."

"Sousuke! Please, please Sousuke." Ai's voice had taken a desperate edge, and Sousuke hushed him.

"I know. I know, baby. I'm trying to give you what you need. If I make you come too fast you'll be horny again." Sousuke wasn't about to say that he would be too.

"Do you have any toys?" Sousuke asked. Their sex thus far had been fairly vanilla, and Sousuke hadn't graduated to the point where he would use them, but if Ai had one thick enough...

"Yes."

"Good. What do you have?"

"I have a dildo. It's for when...I'm not able to contact anyone."

"You're so fucking horny, Ai. I love it. Can you take it?"

"Yes."

"Good. Get it for me, but don't lube it up yet."

There was more shuffling, and then footsteps on the hardwood floor of Ai's dorm. The footsteps became more faint. Ai had left the phone on the bed. So Sousuke waited, leaning back more comfortably so he could edge himself in order to stay hard for Ai. He spat into his hand, and stroked his cock fast. Closing his eyes, he imagined it was Ai who was stroking him. Ai was so filthy. When he gave Sousuke hand jobs, he would lock eyes with his own, and he would bite at his lips while he watched Sousuke come undone. The untainted lust in his eyes was what would do it for Sousuke each time, and he'd come, shuddering in Ai's hands. While he felt himself approach the edge, Sousuke moaned unconsciously, and froze when he heard a dark laugh through the phone.

"Having fun without me, Sousuke?" Ai purred, and Sousuke wasn't about to let him begin to dominate the conversation now.

"You were taking too long," Sousuke teased, letting a breath out he hadn't known he was holding. "Do you have it?"

"I do."

"Good. I want you to get it nice, and wet for me, but you're going to use your mouth."

"So naughty, Sousuke."

Sousuke clicked his tongue. He knew getting annoyed with Ai now would make him lose points in their little game, but he couldn't help it.

He opened his mouth to give Ai his retort, but the words died on his lips at the sudden emergence of a wet, swallowing sound. Sousuke knew that sound too well, and it made his breath hitch against his will. Ai wasn't going slow, he had swallowed the toy right away, Sousuke could hear his throat working, and then a sharp inhale of breath with a soft moan as he pulled the toy out. He had done that to Sousuke too many times, had made him come just from that.

"Like that?" And Sousuke wondered how Ai managed to make his voice sound so innocent.

Before he could answer, loud slurping, and smacking sounds came through the phone. He heard Ai swallow again, and had to remove the phone from his ear to gather himself again.

"Good," Sousuke said when he had collected his wits. "You're ready to take it, Ai."

He heard the pop of the cap, and a slick sound as Ai lubed up the toy. Sousuke tried to even out his breaths, and not to pant with excitement. He was ready, so ready. Perhaps more ready than Ai, and after his brief edging session, Sousuke's cock was an angry red colour.

"On your knees," Sousuke commanded. "And remember, no touching your dick."

There was more shuffling, and Ai grunted. He heard Ai pause to take a breath, and then a desperate keen that made Sousuke moan along with him. He couldn't help, but to close his eyes, and imagine it was his cock pushing deep inside his lover, making him make those sounds. The noises falling from Ai's lips escalated in such a way that made Sousuke's heart pound.

"Ai," he groaned. "Shit. Gentle. Be gentle with yourself. Go slow so you don't tear."

Ai whimpered, and the line fell silent, but for Ai's laboured breathing.

"Ai?" Sousuke's voice had sobered, laced with worry. "Ai, are you okay?"

"M'fine. I just-uh. Sousuke make me come, please." Ai always begged so nicely when he wanted.

His growth over the past year had made him the perfect power bottom: Ai knew what he wanted, and knew how to get it, but he had an absolute submissive streak when he wanted to be, - when his partner had learned to dominate him properly.

"Alright." Sousuke knew he himself wouldn't be able to take much more. "I want you to fuck yourself slow, and deep."

Sousuke waited, listening to gasp, and cry out softly. He asked him to adjust the angle more than once until Ai's cries suddenly became louder, and Sousuke knew he had the right spot. He commanded Ai to keep that angle, and speed up. Matching Ai's pace had him gasping in seconds, and knew he wouldn't last long.

He could hear the rhythmic sound of the bed creaking as Ai pushed back on the toy

, making strained sounds in the back of his throat. Sousuke felt himself losing it, the lewd noises pushing him dangerously close to the edge.

"S-sousuke. Sou," Ai moaned. "I want this to be you. I wish it were you fucking me s-oh! So good."

Sousuke practically snarled. "Yeah baby. I know, me too. Fuck, I'd make you feel so good."

Ai cried out, and something in his voice changed. Ai was close, dangerously close, but he just needed a little more, and Sousuke was going to fall off the edge before him. He threw his head back, and panted as he worked himself over with his hand.

"Ai, I'm so close. I'm gonna come just from listening to you fuck yourself."

It was the barely-there whimper that did it for him, and Sousuke heard himself babbling. He wasn't sure what he was saying as he arched into his hand, feeling warm come leak through the shirt he had forgotten to remove.

As he buzzed with the after-effects of his orgasm, he could hear Ai moaning his name again, and again, the creak of bed springs audible now, and Sousuke wondered whether Ai's neighbours were hearing him, got a little thrill out of Ai nearly screaming his name in the middle of the afternoon. Ai's voice stuttered, becoming guttural, and Sousuke knew he was coming, the sound almost enough to make Sousuke come again.

When the creak of the bed springs suddenly halted, Ai was speaking, but it was muffled, and Sousuke grinned. It was the sound of Ai completely delerious with pleasure. He would press his face into the bed, moaning softly, and calling Sousuke's name as though he were his god. Sometimes Sousuke would take the opportunity to slide into Ai again. He could make Ai come all over when Ai got like this, but this time Sousuke let him rest.

While Ai recovered, Sousuke removed his soiled shirt, hoping it wasn't ruined as he tossed it into the laundry hamper.

"Good..." Ai mumbled. "Jesus, Sousuke. That was so fucking good."

"Yeah?" Sousuke looked at the clock, and felt his heart leap. "Shit! Ai, I'm sorry. I'm already late for my class, I'll call you later."

He winced as he unceremoniously hung up on his lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my [tumblr](https://neonna.tumblr.com/) for fic updates, porn, and maybe even original work.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally have a new [tumblr](https://neonnawrites.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop by and say hello!


End file.
